Joy lies in the fight, in the attempt, in the suffering involved, not in the victory itself


Thursday, July 16, 2009

this is the last day of our acquaintance

Something that I didn't anticipate when I joined this cracked bunch of mental health bloggers is how darn FOND I would become of y'all. Consequently, I've been majorly bummed out lately to find a few of my blogging friends have either deleted their blogs or abandoned them. I also clicked some of the blogrolls of my regular visited sites and found a fair few of their links also led me to the ubiquitous "site not found" message. In my research, I've discovered there's an actual term for it - "blog abandonment".

I know it happens. People move on, get lives, get committed (ha!), find other outlets. I read somewhere that 60-80% of blogs are abandoned within the first month, and that the average lifespan of the 20-40% that survive is seven months. In my other blog-life, (2 years as part of the weight loss surgery community) people regularly come and go from my comments and followers pages. But somehow, it doesn't feel as sad. I think the way in which I connect to, and support, mental health bloggers is much more real to me. Which no doubt says more about ME than about anything else lol. Did I ever mention my pathological fear of abandonment??

I miss you, my lost bloggers - especially Belinda, Kate and John. If you're still lurking about and reading, you know who you are and know that I wish you well. I hope that the things that took you away from the blogs I loved are good, healthy, happy, positive things. I hope you are thriving, or at least surviving.

(*today's post title is from the awesome Sinead O'Connor song of the same name)


Anonymous Drifter said...

I often wondered what the statistics were on blogging. I've noticed many blogs that are started and quickly abandoned. It's hard when a blog you've been following just drops out of sight. The people are often in my thoughts.

Dreamwriter said...

LOL! Yeah, I am one of them...I go through many changes in my life and my blogs are a reflection of that.

By the way grab your award at my blog! Congrats!


It was concerns as to who I (perhaps wrongly) believed was reading mine that led me to delete and it was an impulsive act, done in an attack of paranoia (occupational hazard for any blogger, let alone 'mental health' bloggers). Had I been cool and collected, I could've just pass-worded and kept it up for a select audience. I miss my blog and I've been toying with sequels. For the moment I'm too wary to put down so many words so I've just been posting bits and bobs of art work and photos. I'm contriving how I might bring about another 'writing' blog in the near future whilst protecting my anonymity better than I did before. I'll certainly let you know when I do.
Also, I'm still following yours. Getting the blog-jitters has also held me back from commenting so much but I may just pipe up a bit more from now on. It's a funny old world isn't it. I thrust myself into it with such naive abandon and now that I've learned a few lessons and some etiquette, I think I'm approaching it from a slightly different view point.
I didn't like the experience of being taken off people's blog-rolls so suddenly either - although it's only to be expected when someone commits blogicide. I really am still here, reading you all. I've just been quiet for a while. My life is very busy with the usual tumultuous ups and downs (fortunately more ups than downs in summer!).If I could find a way of writing about it I really would. Perhaps a 'protected' blog. We'll see.
Anyway, I'm glad to see you're still putting up a feisty front to life's knocks and punches. You've come a long long way.
All the best Lil,
I'm still right here.

tricia said...

Wow, that is no way to treat an old woman. When I read your title I thought you were leaving.

It does leave you wondering when people just drop out of sight. When I decided to delete my other blog I published a post on why and when and left it for several days. At any rate-- I'm sorry you're missing your friends, but I'm so happy you are not leaving. :)

Wandering Coyote said...

Yeah, it happens...unfortunately. Well, you know my story so it wasn't anything that fell into one of the reasons you mentioned, but I still blog somewhere. There are those out there I miss a lot, too, though.

Elizabeth A. said...

I hate when life just gets too busy. And it has been.

Sid said...

I hate blog abandonment, but understand it happens. People get busy, they lose interest in writing, the forget they even have a blog, etc. I think it's harder to lose the mental health bloggers because I often wonder if they've lost their struggle with life.

Guess I'm a freak of nature in blogland...I'm celebrating my 5th anniversary today.

Jena said...

I know what you mean. I have had the same luck with blogging friends, in spurts. Especially new friends, or when I abandoned mine and tried to come back. But after you've been doing it regularly for a long time, you'll stick with the same crowd who has also maintained theirs. And when a new friend comes around, you'll always appreciate them and hope they're going to stay because it's nice to get to know new people. I will always be around, Lil. I've already abanoned my various blogs like 4 times or something ridiculous like that a long time ago due to severe paranoia. Lol. And now I just don't care! So that's all out of the system and I'm here to stay. It really is sad though when people leave and you suspect they weren't doing well because you worry, right? I know. I don't really know how to deal with it except hope they're ok.

Just Be Real said...

So, it is the ole' "BA" title for people who do not hang on to the blogasphere huh? Wow, those are really high statistics. Thanks for sharing Lil. I too thought at first you were leaving..... glad I was wrong.

Blessings dear one!

Borderline Lil said...

So great to hear from everyone on this subject, and especially to hear from Kate. Do keep in touch about new ventures, as I miss your writing. At least now I've found your other blogger profile I can keep an eye on you, lass.

I hadn't really considered the privacy/security aspect, but that loss of anonymity would definitely factor in more for the MH bloggers than "other" bloggers. I try to use psuedonyms for ppl and places, but as we all know, that doesn't stop stalkers haha.

In the end, like with everything I write and read here in the blogworld, it's just brilliant to know I'm not the only one. Keep blogging my friends xx

Polar Bear said...

Yeah, I'm always sad when someone whose blog I frequent suddenly disappears. Surprising stats, but not that surprising, I suppose.

Mine has gone on for 5 years now.

Sunshinemeg said...

I just stumbled across your blog and am coming along for the ride. Glad your not leaving.

mysadalterego said...

I just found your blog too, and am glad to read it.

I often disappear from blogging for a while, but always come back.