Joy lies in the fight, in the attempt, in the suffering involved, not in the victory itself


Friday, July 23, 2010

a boy, a girl and a rendezvous

Firstly, a big thank you to Jen Daisybee from Suicidal No More for the I Choose to Live Award. This means a lot, as I really do believe living, and living well, is a choice and it's a choice I make every day. For those of you who haven't checked out Jen's blog, please do so - she is an incredibly inspiring writer who deals with Schizoaffective Disorder as well as some other difficulties.
Things have been steadily improving for me, and I am prepared to confess that I may in fact be a little bit "in lurve". It's someone entirely new, who I have only known for two weeks, but so far things are going amazingly well. There are no "buts", no negatives, no clarifications and best of all no qualms from him about being in a relationship. I decided two weeks ago to end things with Anthony, as he was determinedly casual and noncommittal, and seemed to prefer to just take things as they came rather than make plans. It just didn't suit me, and I had started to email my new man (Neil) and felt there was real potential there. We (Neil and I) have been completely honest and upfront from the start, and as a result have become close very quickly. We've had three dates since we met, and each one is more relaxed, more fun and more romantic than the last. He confessed to me that he is looking for true love, which is the first time I've heard that this year. The ten men I have met/dated this year have been predominantly reluctant to even mention love, let alone actively pursue it, so Neil is refreshingly different. On our first date, he bought me a gorgeous teddy bear, and has texted and/or called me every day since we met. He calls me babe and sweetheart. He tells me I make him smile. He does what he says he will, when he says he will.
I know it's early, but I really think this one might be a keeper. We'll see! The finding out is the fun part, anyway!!
I saw Doc A this week for the first time in a month; he has been in Germany for the First International Congress on BPD. He came back with heaps of interesting info, such as Abilify is the "go to" medication they've found for BPD + depression, but BPD without depression does not typically respond well to medication. They discussed DBT (Marsha Linehan was a keynote speaker) and MBT and TBT (this last one is what Doc A says he and I do, it's Transference Behavioural Therapy), and all three have major merit and success in treatment according to the Congress. One of the interesting things is that pharmaceutical companies had very little input into the Conference, which meant that the outcomes and topics weren't as skewed as other Conferences. Doc A is very much against what he calls the "pharmaceutical industry merry-go-round" and refuses to see drug reps at his practice. I'm so lucky to have found such a kick arse doctor. Really makes a big difference.
Hope this finds everyone hanging in there and maybe even doing well xx
Today's title is from Belle and Sebastian's Women's Realm - one of my all-time favourite songs.


Wandering Coyote said...

"In lurve..." I love it! Go you!

I have heard no so great things about Abilify, and I don't even know if it's available in Canada. My doctor was very reluctant to prescribe it to me. Sounds like an excellent conference, and it's very encouraging that the drug companies were not involved as yes, everything they say is completely biased! Grr!

Anyway...Take care of yourself! Sounds like things are stable & going well and I hope that continues for you!

Anonymous said...

love belle and sebastion.
hope things continue to go well with the new man.
i'm enjoying your blog.

Jane said...

Lil, I am so happy to hear of your new adventures! Every time I visit your blog and get to read about your life and boy stories or whatever else you are going through I am just so pleased to have the privilege of being in your circle. Thank you for staying in touch with me. I admire you and really enjoy hearing about your journey!

Sairs said...

Lil, you have won one of the runners up prizes in my card competition. You can see the details at this link

Thank you so much for you interest in my cards, it's really been awesome how good you guys have made me feel!


Just Be Real said...

Lil congrats on the award. Thank you for sharing a big part of yourself here. You are an encouragement indeed. Blessings.

Jen Daisybee said...

Lil, sorry I didn't read this post earlier. Thanks so much for your kinds words about my blog! I love yours as well, and was happy to give that award. Glad to hear how great things are going for your these days!