a boy, a girl and a rendezvous

Firstly, a big thank you to Jen Daisybee from Suicidal No More for the I Choose to Live Award. This means a lot, as I really do believe living, and living well, is a choice and it's a choice I make every day. For those of you who haven't checked out Jen's blog, please do so - she is an incredibly inspiring writer who deals with Schizoaffective Disorder as well as some other difficulties.

Things have been steadily improving for me, and I am prepared to confess that I may in fact be a little bit "in lurve". It's someone entirely new, who I have only known for two weeks, but so far things are going amazingly well. There are no "buts", no negatives, no clarifications and best of all no qualms from him about being in a relationship. I decided two weeks ago to end things with Anthony, as he was determinedly casual and noncommittal, and seemed to prefer to just take things as they came rather than make plans. It just didn't suit me, and I had started to email my new man (Neil) and felt there was real potential there. We (Neil and I) have been completely honest and upfront from the start, and as a result have become close very quickly. We've had three dates since we met, and each one is more relaxed, more fun and more romantic than the last. He confessed to me that he is looking for true love, which is the first time I've heard that this year. The ten men I have met/dated this year have been predominantly reluctant to even mention love, let alone actively pursue it, so Neil is refreshingly different. On our first date, he bought me a gorgeous teddy bear, and has texted and/or called me every day since we met. He calls me babe and sweetheart. He tells me I make him smile. He does what he says he will, when he says he will.

I know it's early, but I really think this one might be a keeper. We'll see! The finding out is the fun part, anyway!!

I saw Doc A this week for the first time in a month; he has been in Germany for the First International Congress on BPD. He came back with heaps of interesting info, such as Abilify is the "go to" medication they've found for BPD + depression, but BPD without depression does not typically respond well to medication. They discussed DBT (Marsha Linehan was a keynote speaker) and MBT and TBT (this last one is what Doc A says he and I do, it's Transference Behavioural Therapy), and all three have major merit and success in treatment according to the Congress. One of the interesting things is that pharmaceutical companies had very little input into the Conference, which meant that the outcomes and topics weren't as skewed as other Conferences. Doc A is very much against what he calls the "pharmaceutical industry merry-go-round" and refuses to see drug reps at his practice. I'm so lucky to have found such a kick arse doctor. Really makes a big difference.

Hope this finds everyone hanging in there and maybe even doing well xx

Today's title is from Belle and Sebastian's Women's Realm - one of my all-time favourite songs.

Passionate Blogger Award

Thank you Sarah (at This Lunatic Express) for this lovely recognition. I am passionate about blogging, it really helps me to keep the loony at bay, and reading all the blogs I have on my reading list is a big part of that. Like Sarah says, it's hard to choose just five to pass it on to but I decided to look at some of my new(er) contacts in blogging. Here are my choices:

Matthew at Chronic Impending Disaster (even if he DID post that internet dating was for the desperate LOL)
Arifaery at Fighting Labels
MissFlame1 at My Life & Challenges So Far
Lady Amanda at Living With An Invisible Disability (this lady has one of the biggest and warmest hearts in the blogosphere)
Bipolar Geminate

Y'all know I love and adore you - keep up the great blogging and help us all TRY to stay sane(ish).

Awards

Thank you, Anonymous Drifter, for this friendship award

And thanks to Just Be Real for this cute award

I first starting blogging a couple of years ago, when I started planning to have weight loss surgery. At the time, there were very few blogs by people who'd had the type of surgery I chose, and I knew I could provide info and support as well as keeping a record for myself. It's been a great experience, and a number of people have emailed me through that blog and have pursued surgery for themselves. The WLS community is quite supportive, and I am still happy to be a part of it.

I have to say, though, that the mental health bloggers I've met this year, since my latest breakdown and diagnosis, have far surpassed any other community in terms of support and friendship. I don't know what I would have done, literally, without your blogs and emails and comments. Never before has it been more important that I feel connected to people, and understood -- and it has made a huge difference.

Just though it was time to say that. I am (in general) tired, strung out and loopy so may not have the wherewithal to post anything of note. But being able to visit and read everyone's blogs makes the day pass a little better.