Joy lies in the fight, in the attempt, in the suffering involved, not in the victory itself

(Ghandi)

Monday, January 18, 2010

back on the chain gang

First day back at work after a month away. It's so much harder than I imagined...coming back. At least everyone was off, as the place closed its doors for four weeks, so there's not the usual paranoia of returning to work wondering who said what about me when and why. But there is the concern that I've forgotten HOW. How to do my job, how to smile and nod and chatter politely. What did you do on your holidays Lil? No stories of travel, of exotic parties, of outings and such. A lot of sleep, brought on by boredom, inertia and the ever-present vague pulse of panic that was easier to avoid by nodding off. The good thing about Being Back is that I have some time very morning to blog and visit blogs, which is harder at home using Michelle's laptop.

My date on Wednesday last was perfectly charming. We had a lot of fun, he beat me at bowling, he bought me lunch, we talked and laughed a lot. He has an interest in someone else, someone who was just a couple of days ahead of me in the internet matching stakes, so it seems we will remain in that Just Friends zone. There's no JUST about it, according to me, because I need friends more than I need random lovers. So I am thrilled to have made it onto his friends' roster and already feel my life is richer through knowing him. Whether I have the nerve to do it again, the whole meeting and greeting thing, with another boy, remains to be seen. It takes it out of me, even in a friendship scenario... esp. as I am currently languishing a little in the doldrums. Probably just a matter of waiting until the upswing.

3 comments:

Wandering Coyote said...

Well, as long as you are OK with Just Friends. I am a romantic at heart (just as you are) and I am totally rooting for you & this internet dating thing. It's so brave of you, Lil! I'm so proud of you! You took a huge step - one of many recently - and that is totally excellent! Keep it up!

Jane said...

That's so cool that you made a new friend, even if that's not what you weren't hoping for to begin with. Sometimes it's interesting how we end up meeting our closest friends. :)

Polar Bear said...

Great to hear about your friend.