Joy lies in the fight, in the attempt, in the suffering involved, not in the victory itself


Sunday, January 3, 2010

almost didn't notice the roses

It seems like 2010 is shaping up to be a strange and wonderful year. Bring it on, I say! Christmas was a bit of a challenge, mostly because of my grandmother staying with us. She went into care at a nursing home a month ago and came out for a couple of days over Christmas. Although the place we chose for her is top-notch in many ways, with million dollar views over the city and river and the highest patient-staff ratio in the city, she continually complains about being unhappy. I'm not sure what she expects from us, we cared for her as well as we could, for as long as we could (five years) and now her health has deteriorated to the point where she needs professional care. But she seems to think we moved her into care for our own amusement, or from spite. And perhaps believes if she complains and snivels enough we will move her back home. None of these things are true. In the end, I am ashamed to admit I was pleased to come back here to my own new home, and drop her off at hers, and lalalala try to pretend none of it was happening. Being back at my parents' place was okay, but overall it made me happy I am here in my rockin' duplex with Michelle.

Michelle is a joy, she's literally one of the funniest people I have ever met and we entertain ourselves for hours making up songs, shouting random witticisms at each other, and contemplating life. We're planning on having a kick-ass year, including a massive costume bash for my 40th birthday in June. The other day we bought Singstar for PS2 on ebay and plan to harrass our neighbours with our tuneless fun hahaha.

Another area of life that's surprising me is my social uprising. I decided that I wanted to put myself out there a bit, and perhaps meet some new friends, so I signed up to an internet dating site - yikes!! It's a good site, and more detailed and meaningful in its profiles, so I'm seeing some high quality matches, which is nice. I hold out much hope for 2010! At the very least I am going to have some new friends to invite to my party :D

I am still on a month's vacation from work, so am borrowing Michelle's laptop to access the internet - so if it seems I am not around the blogosphere so much, then that's the reason. I am still trying to keep up with everyone, even if I don't get the chance to comment!

Previous blog title is from an Iron & Wine song, today's courtesy of Taylor Swift's Our Song


Clueless said...

I hope that you don't feel guilty about your feeling toward your grandmother. What you are feeling is completely normal and what she is saying is also. It might help to say something like, "I know you want to move back, but we want you to have the best care which is the nursing home for now." Whatever, you think that she is actually saying acknowledge it and then set a firm boundary. I know that it is very hard on everyone. Hopefully, you can also get to the place that "This is Grandma. Oh well, this is who she is and love her for just that." This would help ease the frustration.

Clueless said...

Oh, I hope that I wasn't too preachy. I really do feel for the position that everyone is in. ((((Lil)))

Wandering Coyote said...

Hey Lil, awesome to see a post from you!

We are both going to have a kick-ass 2010! Good luck with the dating site...I'm not sure I'm that brave yet...I really admire people who take that step, though, so go you!

Lil said...

Definitely not preachy, Clueless, thank you for the excellent feedback!

And WC, always glad to see you and I hope you're right about 2010!!

Polar Bear said...

glad to hear your living situation now is so amazing!! Happy 2010!