Joy lies in the fight, in the attempt, in the suffering involved, not in the victory itself

(Ghandi)

Sunday, October 25, 2009

they call me mellow yellow, quite rightly

Greetings friends, my apologies for not updating sooner. Yes, the new medication (Solian) is working well - reducing the hair pulling and binge impulses, definitely reduced anger, and I am sleeping a lot better. It's a low dose but a good 'un! I see Dr A on Wednesday, after his month in Europe, and will be happy to report that things are fairly good. Certainly better than a couple of weeks ago.

My friend Michelle and I have our plans to move out together well underway. Sometime between now and February we'll be sharing a small house or a duplex/unit (I think y'all in the US call it a condo, like an apartment but bigger and usually with ground floor access?). We've seen a couple of places, and have narrowed down our search to a few key suburbs - all of which are closer to work than here. I am completely OVER the 1.5 - 2 hr bus trip each way. We looked at a place on Friday that was 10 mins walk away from work but sadly it had no bathtub and was suffering from a semi-permanent mould invasion. Ugh. I am so excited about living with Michelle, who is my closest friend and someone I can be honest with. She has been staying here on and off over the last few weeks and the more time I spend with her the more I am convinced that rooming together makes great sense financially as well as emotionally. Now we just have to find somewhere!

I start a three week course tomorrow on Flower Essences and herbal remedies, which is something my mom and I are interested in. It'll be nice to do the course with her, and I am also booked into a goal setting course next month. Hopefully I will still feel well enough to do the course by then...the problem with feeling well is that sometimes I commit myself to things that I end up regretting!

So far, the only side effect I've felt from the Solian is a dry mouth, and the fact that I'm slightly drowsy - but as I take it before bed anyway, that's no biggie. I'm finding that slightly numb effect to be welcome, even though mentally I struggle with the idea of blunting and how it detaches me from my necessary emotions of anger, frustrations, etc. I think that for the next few months, to find accommodation for next year and to finish my two courses as well as complete the semester at work, I need all the help I can get. Dr A says the ultimate goal is to reduce or stop medication completely, but it may take years to get there. I am so impatient, want everything now now now now now haha!! But I am trying to look at this as an investment, and will take the anti-psychotic while it helps.

Spending time with my friends and family has kept me away from my virtual world, and I MISS YOU ALL! Hope to catch up soon.

5 comments:

Just Be Real said...

Lil, you have been very busy with some very positive things to do and look forward to! Glad the meds are doing good for you. You have a lot to look forward to, the move, the class with your mom etc. Very positive indeed. Blessings dear one and hugs....

tricia said...

Wow, this is exciting! I hope you guys find a nice place. I'm happy for you that you will have someone to share with. Good for you Lil-- you just keep on moving up.

Wandering Coyote said...

You're moving out? Excellent! This is a HUGE step, I know! Good for you. I am so proud of you, Lil. You are doing so well and continually making healthy choices that move you forward in life. A goal-setting course sounds like a cool idea, too! Go you! I'm so happy for you!

Dry mouth sucks, doesn't it? I often am awoken in the middle of the night by my dry mouth - it's terrible. I drink A LOT of water, and keep a water bottle at my bedside.

Ruby Tuesday said...

yay for such a positive post! Moving out plans sound exciting as well. x

Polar Bear said...

Glad to hear that the meds are working. Solian sounds a lot like Seroquel. I take Seroquel, and it is quite sedating and makes me feel pretty numb.

It's also great that you found someone you can move in together with.