Adjustment

I had such high hopes for part-time work - namely that my two days off during the week would be filled with exercise, socialising, blogging, writing, homework and housework. I'm now two weeks into my new life, and am loving every minute of my job. But the days off have been almost ENTIRELY filled with sleeping and laying semi-comatose on the couch. I think (hope) it's a period of adjustment -- after 4 months of being on disability I had become used to rest being the norm rather than the exception. So when I have the chance, my body is desperately trying to catch up. I'm also dealing with the 3 hours travelling each workday, which means that come Monday and Thursday the LAST thing I want to do is go anywhere.

Other than the tiredness, and lack of accomplishment on my days off, I think I am doing well. Dr A has been in the US for 2 weeks, so I've been "untherapied" but none the worse for it. I'm looking foward to catching up with him and sharing some positive news for a change. I'm getting to do some interesting and challenging work at DF, and most of the time have support and backup whenever I need it. I wish I had found work in the charity field years ago... the atmosphere is completely different. My last job, at the Evil Empire, seemed to be entirely about money and the bottom line. Now, every cent and every atom of energy spent is towards helping people. Whether I'm typing, filing, writing or updating the website -- everything is done with the ultimate goal of helping people. I feel like I'm in heaven. Gush gush...blah blah.

Being part of an entirely female workforce has its downside. The communal lunch stretches from half an hour to an hour sometimes, as people share stories of ex-husbands, recalcitrant kids and horror stories from the news headlines. Mostly, I eat my lunch and then go back to work. I've never been one for group sharing lol. No-one seems to mind, as I pick up the phone while they can keep nattering. Because they are a disparate group of women, I neither fit in or don't fit in, if you know what I mean. They seem to be thrilled to have me there, and use my skills, and have said I am wonderful and capable. Phew.

I really think Dr A has a point when he talks about moderate BPD (the category he puts me in) being helped by the structure and purpose of work (fulltime, part-time or volunteer). He was telling me once that quite a few mental illnesses are made harder to cope with when you add work to the mix, but Borderlines often improve when they can find a healthy work/life mix. I was starting to think he was full of crap, and no doubt not everyone has the same experience as me, but so far I am finding everything easier to cope with now I am working somewhere positive. My last job was definitely a major contributor to my breakdown and illness. But part-time work, and work in a positive environment, is a whole different kettle of fish. I also find that being out of the house, and away from the family stressors, has helped my mood.

In other news, last weekend was exciting because of the two semifinals and the final of Eurovision. I was disappointed in the eventual winner, Norway, who was a sweet enough lad but not one of my favourites. Here are two of my favourites, Portugal (who came 15th out of 25 countries) and Estonia (6th), both of which had completely beautiful and talented ladies out front who made me wish I still lived in Europe: