Joy lies in the fight, in the attempt, in the suffering involved, not in the victory itself


Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Drama Club

Dr A used a throw-away line on me on Monday, saying something about "Cluster B types" - naturally I have been obsessing and Googling about this Cluster B stuff, and found out that it's a category of Personality Disorder. Cluster B, the Erratic/Emotional/Dramatic PDs, includes Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, and Narcissistic. Suite (which as far as I can tell uses "laypeople" to write non-fiction articles, I guess kind of like Wikipedia? But it seems to pass itself off as more "scientific"...PLEASE jump in and correct me if I am wrong!!) seemed to be going for the chuckle element as it subcategorises Cluster B as THE DRAMA CLUB.

Am I the only one pissed at that?? I know, I know, I'm a hypocrite after going on yesterday about BPDs being erroneously categorised as humorless HA! But it seemed like a stupid description for two reasons:
  1. "Drama" being used these days to go with Queen, seems to intimate a choice of overacting or acting out...rather than having a genuine inability to regulate emotions.
  2. And "Club"...don't get me started...oh, okay then, start already HA! I seem to remember having to APPLY to join the Drama Club at school, as well as any other damn Club I wanted to be a member of. While I am proud to be part of Cluster B (or whatever) and I am determined to make the best of everything life throws at me, I don't remember filling out the application form for Borderline Personality Disorder. How anyone would call it a CLUB is beyond me.

The irony is not lost on me people, fear not. I'm coming across as humourless - and I'm not! If it was me, or another "sufferer" of BPD (and man I hate calling it "suffering"), saying "hey, come join my drama club", I would be laughing louder than anyone. But seemed to be adding itself to the long list of purveyors of "stuff-n-nonsense" about Personality Disorders.

In Effexor Withdrawal News, the electro-pulse disco is still raging in my head. It's the hardest sound effect to describe. The thing it reminds me of the most is the noise the Bionic Woman made when she jumped extra-high... I found a .wav file here for anyone who is curious! The noise comes and goes in my head, and it physically feels like my ears are trying to "clap" together. I swear it's true lol. I can also only stand upright for half an hour at a time, and sleep for most of the day. But the side effects of the withdrawal have been almost all physical. I am keeping a close eye on my moods and emotions, but so far so good. I think the fact that I was on a fairly low dose, for a short time only, has meant that my come down has been fairly mild. I have ramped up my Calcium, Magnesium, Fish Oils and Vit E and have been slugging down water. Dr A suggested 3 litres minimum per day.


Amanda Smith said...

Great post! You just made me smile about BPD and, sometimes, that's tough to do.

Wandering Coyote said...

"The Drama Club" - *snicker snicker*

I agree with you. It's ridiculous and stigmatizing to boot.

Oh yes, come and join my major depression club, too, while you're at it. Hmph.

Jena said...

Aww Effexor has terrible side effects for withdrawal. I've been there myself. I get what you're saying.

As for the personality "Drama Club"... If it were me, I'd just separate myself from it and say- that's them. Not me. Because, Lil, you are your own person. You experience things uniquely. You'll get through it, without some kind of "category" hanging over your head.


Jena said...

Hey Lil :)
I posted my latest collage. Just thought you'd like to know. Thank you for all your encouragement!!! ~Jena xo