Joy lies in the fight, in the attempt, in the suffering involved, not in the victory itself


Wednesday, June 9, 2010

is that supposed to be your poker face or was someone run over by a train

Just surfacing briefly to try and read a few blogs (so many hundreds in my Google little time) and to write an update on my situation.

In the last few weeks since I wrote, a lot has improved. Cymbalta has come into my life like an avenging angel, banishing the last of the homicidal Prozac-ity and energizing and revitalizing me. I feel so much better, so clear and focused. I started back at work yesterday and it went well, I am back on reduced hours and everyone has a slightly concerned way of watching me when they think I'm not looking. But overall, I am happy to be back and they are happy to have me.

My extra work with Dr A has paid off also, he says to not give Cymbalta all the credit as I've worked hard to try and regain my hold on sanity. My focus now is working with him on some CBT related goals in the areas of self-esteem, relationships and the like. I am determined to be able to be a functioning, positive partner for someone at some stage, and I think I need help with that (esp given my experiences with dating this year).

Also, I have met someone new. Someone I was introduced to online five months ago and have been emailing back and forth with regularity. We finally got to meet in real life and hit it off - now I am playing it as cool as I can, and trying not to place too much hope and expectation on him. Early days, but better ones folks.

(Title from Fountains of Wayne "No Better Place")


Sairs said...

I'm really glad you're feeling better and that you're back at work AND that you have met someone new, that is all awesome stuff. Well done on doing so much to make yourself feel better and allowing yourself the time to get better. I know how hard that is. I always feel like I must be working, I must contribute to the household and it puts so much pressure on when you aren't well. I am looking forward to hearing more of this new man you have around. Good for you and you deserve happiness, though good idea to play it cool at the moment.

Lady_Amanda said...

Hi Lil,

I know you were struggling there for a while. I am so happy to hear you are doing better! Sometimes a change in medicine is all we need. However, your doctor is right! You must have done some work too! If you had layed in bed all day and didn't try to work on yourself, all the medicine in world can't save you! I know you work hard because you tell us about your therapy skills that you work on in your blog! I am proud of you. Sometimes people with mental illnesses have different milestone than the rest of the world. I keep trying to tell my Mom that. What I am saying is being back to work is a big deal, you were "sick" just like if someone had cancer and was in chemo. for a while. Anyway, it's good to have you back on this side of sanity;)


Ruby Tuesday said...

so glad to hear that things are better ... I'm really sorry for not having been around recently. x

Jane said...

Lil! I am so happy to hear you are doing well. I have missed you. It sounds like you still have your head on your shoulders. :) **Hugs to you, friend*** Good luck and have fun getting to know the knew guy. I hope things work out! :) See you again soon, hopefully. Love, Jena (a.k.a. Jane)

Wandering Coyote said...

Hi Lil! Isn't Cymbalta great? I am curious, though, if you are experiencing any side effects. I had a ton when I went on it and I still have some very minor ones, but nothing AT ALL like Effexor, even though the drugs are similar.