Joy lies in the fight, in the attempt, in the suffering involved, not in the victory itself


Sunday, August 30, 2009

in a bullet proof vest with the windows all closed

In the last couple of weeks my grandmother (who regular readers will know lives with me and my parents) has suffered from deteriorating health. She's approaching 91, and has been lucky to not have any life-threatening or serious illness; because of that she almost seems to be oblivious to her (statistically speaking) approaching death! She had a minor stroke about five years ago, and came to live with us, and has been in good health since then. Last week she had a couple of dizzy spells, and possibly had one or more TIAs (like mini strokes), and consequently we've needed to keep a closer eye on her (and help her to shower, walk to the bathroom, etc).

The reason I mention this is that I decided I would offer to move out of my master bedroom with ensuite bathroom so my nanna can move in. Mr Ex and I had the master bedroom when we first moved in, and when he left I got to keep it. I am fairly obsessive about germs, particularly when it comes to bathrooms, and sharing a bathroom is very very low on my "to do" list. It seemed like it was important, though, and also I thought it might prepare me for next year when I plan to move out of here. Previously, my nanna has inhabited the two back bedrooms of the house and shared a bathroom with my parents. But there was a dining room, bathroom, laundry, and another bedroom between her room and my parents', so at night we were concerned she might call out and no-one would hear. The master bedroom is opposite the formal lounge room that my parents use as their bedroom, so nanna will be closer to them, and also having her own bathroom adjacent to her bed will be easier. Naturally, in the way of narcissists, she managed to be both ungrateful for my sacrifice and irritated that she got to sit in the family room relaxing while the rest of us schlepped her many china cabinets, chairs and occasional tables up to her new quarters.

In terms of square feet of space, I think the two smaller rooms are about equal to the master bedroom. All of my stuff has fitted in to them, and each has a built-in closet which combined are almost the same as the walk-in closet I had in my other room. I have one room set up for sleeping and one with a couch and desk and book shelves. The main drawback is sharing the bathroom...but I will adjust. I do think it will prepare me to live in shared accommodation, in case I can't afford my own place next year. I also think being "less comfortable" is a good thing, as it will encourage me to live outside these four walls.

I am in agony today, after shifting all the furniture. But it has been fun to put my things away in new places and to throw some old junk away. I've discovered a few hobbies and interests that I'd let drop, which I may take up again. And I know that health-wise it's better to have my PC in a room where I don't sleep. I miss my sparkling, scrubbed, fragrantly-deodorized, my-germs-only bathroom! In the way of things, I am trying to make the best of what I know is the "right" choice.

In other news, I'm thrilled to welcome Procrastination and Her One-Eyed Dog to my life. My virtual-world friend Kate has gifted her to me, and I'm happy to have such a quirky, beautiful, clever gift in my life (describes the girl AND the stitching lol).

(title of today's post comes from my favourite Coldplay song "See You Soon")


Anonymous said...

I love your gift. It is adorable. You sound as if you are getting stronger and truly preparing for your future. Yay for Lil! I understand your sacrifice and I applaud you for it.

Anonymous Drifter said...

It was sweet of you to give up your room for your grandmother. :-)

Jena said...

Wow, what a transition! You've gone to a lot of effort, so I hope you manage to get enough rest after all is said and done. You are such a kindhearted person, Lil. Your grandmother is lucky to have you.

Dee said...

It's great that you took the initiative to allow your grandmother move into the master room. I'm sure this will be a different experience for you but in time, it may become rewarding to you as well. As Jena said,your grandmother is very lucky to have you.

I'm glad I'm catching up on your blogs too...I have missed my fellow-bloggers. Now that things have settle down a bit...I can keep up or try to stay caught Hey, I'm related to Uncle Murphy, never know what to expect next?!

I think you will do ok...maybe better than you expect after the move is done. Look at it as a positive thing for positive reasons.

Safe hugz!

Polar Bear said...

That is a really nice sacrifice on your part. I know it must be hard to have to share a bathroom, but as you say, you will get used to it. I wish you well.

Wandering Coyote said...

Lil, this is so kind & thoughtful of you. Shame she doesn't seem to appreciate it, however. Ah well. You know how you feel about it, so whatever!

Anonymous said...

That was really thoughtful of you. I think you're right that this may help you toward getting your own place. That's great that you are able to think positively about it!