All the leaves are brown

I've no words. They're gone like yesterday's garbage. I've had depression and BPD all my life and now for the first time I'm in hospital. The loony bin has me in its harsh and sterile jaws. Admittedly it's a posh, private institution and it's a voluntary admission but I'm still terrified as hell. I'm coming off 200mg of Solian ( antipsychotic ), 180mg of Cymbalta and 200mg of Lamotrigine. The side effects are a hell ride, hence the hospitalisation. I've been reduced to praying for it all to end. I'm writing to you from my iPhone in the middle of a lonely night. I miss Neil and Charly. I want to go home.