Why I Love Taylor Swift

This is such a cynical world sometimes, and it's unfashionable (in certain circles) to love anything that is popular and simple and beautiful. I have a few guilty pleasures like that...things I love that are kept secret, in case they damage my ultra-cool (*cough*) image. Chick lit novels, for instance, are something I love even though I studied English Literature at University and also have place on my shelves for Jane Austen, Margaret Atwood, Mark Twain, et al. I don't see the point in being a book snob, when reading is such a great pleasure and there are so many different styles of writing, why limit myself to those novels "critically" acclaimed or reviewed in literary magazines?? Honestly, I still have a collection of teen romance novels I accumulated in high school (and later) -- I don't read them all the time, but I like to know they're there in case I need escapism or to relive the past. I also have such a strong connection to the 80s, and to the teenage experience, and struggle every day to realise that I can never go back there. Sometimes I look at 19 year old girls on the street or on the bus and they're SO cocky and sure of themselves, and I want to say "Man, don't ever think you have it all worked out...life is sure to throw you a major curve ball one of these days and you better pray you have the moves to catch it and fling it back or the damn thing will knock you out".

I used to date a musician who refused to listen to anything that would be played on commercial radio, consequently he amassed a huge pile of alternative, independent artists that mostly sounded like garbage cans being collected at 4am (IMHO). While I spent a lot of time trying to impress him and pretended to agree that "pop = bad", secretly I hung on to all the music I truly loved, which had mostly been played on the radio at one stage or another. As much as my BPD-style of connection, in which I become the person I love, taking on their interests as my own, has dictated some of my cultural pursuits, there are some things that are true to me -- daggy and pathetic though they may be.

Which brings me to Taylor Swift and the title of this post. A lot of music journalists and internet pundits make fun of Taylor, questioning her validity, pondering her contribution to modern music, making fun of her for being publicly dumped by a Jonas Brother. None of that matters to me, because I love her songs, I love watching her interviews - she strikes me as a geunine girl, who is 18 and is trying to make sense of love and life...hey she reminds me of me hahahahaha!! I have been resisting buying her new CD "Fearless", due to "peer pressure" from the "cool kids". But most days I would be on youtube, playing her songs in secret and watching her vblogs.

So, here and now, I'm outing myself as a devoted Taylor Swift fan, and I'm going to share part of one of her songs "White Horse". If you want to comment, maybe share with us one of YOUR "dirty little secret" pleasures?? I know you've all got 'em.

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
lead her up the stairwell
this ain't Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around

Comfort Box

One of the tasks I'm working on this week, as part of my "Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder" workbook, is creating a Comfort Box. The process is very simple, and probably most folks have come across it before, but there's a little article on ehow.com about it here if you want to know more. Basically, I've been asked to create a boxful of stuff to cheer me up and to help with Distress Tolerance (Distracting) -- so that when I feel overwhelmed/ stressed / depressed I can use the items in the box to cheer myself up and distract me until the "difficult emotions" and "unhelpful thoughts" have eased up. You can see most of the items I have in there so far, including a wallmap of the USA with all my trips marked, a couple of books, photos of the cats and dog, a lavender scented soap and a Barbie fake camera which says "You look WONDERFUL" when you press the button! It's cheesy and always makes me smile! I'm still adding to it.

Putting together the box was heaps harder than I thought, and harder than the workbook suggested. They didn't warn me to watch out for trigger items, which of course came to hand faster than comforting items lol. For instance, trying to find a nice stuffed animal that didn't have sad memory attached -- the ones that weren't gifts from Mr Ex were given to me when I was in hospital. Photos were another suggestion, but it took me a while to find some that brought genuine happiness when I saw them, and I had to search through a lot of albums and relive a lot of not-so-happy times and relationships. The real killer was the music, though, as touched on in my last post...

I'm putting together a cheery peppy music CD to put in the comfort toolbox, and I think I've ended up with a great mix. Songs that aren't too angry or negative (sorry Alanis!) but are just kind of happy and upbeat. Mika features, as does Fergie and Madonna, and some offbeat Australian music like Ben Lee, Darren Hanlon and The Cat Empire. I talked to Dr A today about the music thing, and how I have been known to use it as an intentional trigger, to make myself cry and feel when I am too closed down to cope with anything. He says crying suits me and I should do it more often. I think he's aiming for some hot transference action hahahahaha.